We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
