Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
