I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
