do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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