I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
