If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Quick, to the slutcave!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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