it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
