just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
