I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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