So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
