Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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