when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
