he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
