Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
