Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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