What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
