Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
