I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
