I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
