At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
