I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
