what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
