Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
