i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
