nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
