remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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