I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
