is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
