Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
