I am full of burrito and curiosity
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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