Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
