In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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