Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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