just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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