my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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