is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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