I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
