I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
