she was so not down for the gang bang
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
