Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
