like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
