i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
