I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize