So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
