I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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