i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
