I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
