Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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