dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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