are you so shy because you have an std?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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