dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize