I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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