I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
