Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
