I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
